Has it really been a month since I’ve added a new post?? I’ve missed it here! If you recall, my last month of Here I Am was devoted to “putting down the crutch” (i.e., trying to break an addiction, for those of you who are just tuning in.) Well, I did…for two weeks. Honestly, I just wasn’t as vigilant as I could have been. But in the true spirit of Here I Am, I am not dwelling on excuses or failures, nor am I miring myself in guilt. The infamous lockbox remains on my list. I will tackle it again another month, with greater vigilance.
The good news is that I refuse to leave without a lesson. I’m not a huge Mraz fan, but I do like his line: “I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some.” No losing, just learning. The first lesson I learned from Month 2 is that simply writing a mantra ain’t gonna cut it! I looked back and read my post from last month and realized that I had totally forgotten the beautiful and sincere mantra I had written. Next time, that mantra needs to be taped to my mirror, carried in my purse, used as my screensaver. I need to wrap myself daily in the encouraging thoughts that come from IN ME! (P.s., thank you so much to the people that encouraged my along the way last month. Don’t loose faith! I’ll be back for some more soon!)
The second lesson I learned is that I hold my crutch the tightest when I feel like there is less to rejoice for, when hopelessness begins to creep in. On those days, I am convinced by the inner voice saying, “Meh, what does it matter?” Some days I wonder how I could possibly think like that!! Others it seems to make so much sense. I realized that the times in my life when I have most easily put down my crutch are the times when I am the most connected to God. This leads me to Month 3. (Yes, the “month” is supposed to begin on the 12th. Ideally it would have. But, I am reinventing the Here I Am calendar in the freedom I have to do so and saying, “So begins Month 3 on this wonderful day, February 23rd!!”)
Now, if the big G word makes you nervous, don’t fear; I won’t be preaching to you on Life As a Wave. I know what I mean when I say, “connecting to God.” What you mean by that may look, sound, feel different than my experience. Maybe you don’t use the word “God.” The result should be the same though, right? A sense of peace, love, hope, freedom, purpose. What I am emphasizing is an intentional, daily practice of pursuing this connection. For me that involves prayer, music, meditation, being in the moment, study and community. That is what this month is for. I cannot wait!! From my experience, there is literally nothing that can compare to connecting with that which is the highest, grandest, wisest, loveliest, mightiest, most gracious, and most boundless thing that exists. Once you invite that, and recognize that it lives within you….forget about it! You’re hooked! Now that is a kind of addiction I can get behind. You might ask why something so beautiful and empowering would need to be on my list? Wouldn’t I just want to float around in that all day every day?? What a good question. I will just quote St. John to explain the trappings of the day-to-day life on Earth that can so easily distract us from the things that are eternal:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
There you have it. I’m human. But here’s to Month 3! A devotion to the superhuman. I hope to include more frequent updates with all of you along the way. Stay tuned and as always, thank you for your being part of Life As a Wave.