Clarity Is Just Above Your Problems

I have a friend who recently moved to Missoula, Montana. The move coincided with an extremely challenging time in life for her, with many difficult and nagging unknowns.

Before the moved she lived near Houston, Texas. She is a lover of the sun and had been dreading the winters in Montana. Recently, she sent me two pictures, one from the outside of Missoula and one from the inside.

Here they are:

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As it turns out, her new city was submerged in an inversion, which can occur when warmer air is above the cold air sending a thick blanketing cloud cover down near the ground.

My friend felt stifled inside of the inversion, claustrophobic even. She said it felt like the sun was just a memory. But one of the foremost things I love about this friend is that she seeks to see the spiritual message in almost everything. And so, under this inversion, she wondered what life lesson, what spiritual message, what guidance she could receive from this new experience. I think the answers she found were beautiful, aware, and worth sharing. Here is some of what she wrote:

“No vision of what’s ahead or what’s been or what’s going to be. …And yet the sun and clear skies are right there. Just a couple miles above. … The Son is right there at the top of the mountain but in this layer of smog it’s difficult to decipher that God is so near. It feels as if hopelessness and sadness and depression is trapped inside this thin layer that won’t lift. … I mean, the Son/sun is everywhere but you can’t see it.”

“Clarity is just above your problems. Hope is there.”

I share this with you because I hope that you can also relate to what she’s experiencing. Not just the occasional dreariness and hopelessness of course, but also the remembering that the sun is always there. Hope is always there. No matter what your circumstances are, clouds lift, things change and new days come before.

I send a big THANK YOU to my friend, who is hanging in there and being always a positive influence in my life and in many others’ as well. Love you, ~~~A Wave~~~!!

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No Haste, No Waste

Waiting by TfaseeL

Waiting by TfaseeL

As we are developing, realizing our dreams and pursuing them, there can be times of deep yearning in the midst of seemingly snail-paced progress. Sometimes it is so easy to want MORE. NOW.

Someone told me once that if I were to have now everything that God had in store my head would probably explode. I think that might be true! “God only gives you what you can handle” is a quaint phrase of comfort but there is truth to that. Growth with the divine is step by step, just like every other growth that comes to mind. I think of it like a Rule of Readiness. This can feel unbearable to me at times, those times when I let me brain get all tied up into the knot of HOW and WHEN some new growth is going to happen.

It’s true that sometimes a person will have a sudden experience of growth that propels them quickly into a greater awareness, but even that is subject to the Rule of Readiness. Saul was ready to become Paul, if you will.

What then is the benefit of trying to hasten your own growth? Is there a benefit? As moments—what IS—drift past, what good does it do to have your attention on what could be? Let’s be where we are. Let’s enjoy where we are as much as we can knowing that as long as we remain available our growth is taking place.

I choose not to hasten what is developing at its own pace lest I allow the real moments of my life to be wasted. 

No Haste, No Waste

Proclamation of Gratitude

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

It has been two years since I began this blog with some dear friends and family. There has been so much learning and exploration in that time. Wondering about connection and coming to understand it more from all sorts of different perspectives. Approaching also an understanding of my own dreams and their possible grander purposes.

A friend recently reminded me that we sometimes teach what it is that we most need to learn and although I don’t know if I have taught anyone much of anything here, I know that I have learned. And I know that it has been a wonderful experience to share that road with many wonderful people.

In this month the holidays are approaching with all of the excitement, nostalgia and odd melancholy that can come with that visitation. A milestone birthday also approaches for me in December causing me to reflect a great deal, with both yearning for the many unrealized hopes of these past years and with affection and not a little awe for those many that are realized and thriving. Finally, it seems social media is saturated right now with sentiments of gratitude in honor of Thanksgiving.

So in light of these events aligning as they are, it seems like a good time to share in the spirit of gratitude…not only to be grateful for this month of thanks, but to remind my own heart of the great unearned blessings and the ever-renewed potential that we are constantly experiencing in life if we will just hold on and believe in them.  And so…..

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Thank you for this life.

Thank you for the beauty I contribute to this life.

Thank you for the divinity that fills us and inspires the beauty I contribute to this life.

Thank you for the people who have guided me toward the divinity that fills us and inspires the beauty I contribute to this life.

Thank you for the love I have learned from the people who have guided me toward the divinity that fills us and inspires the beauty that I contribute to this life.

Thank you for the love I have learned from the people who have guided me toward the divinity that fills us, connects us and inspires the beauty that I contribute to this life.

Thank you for the love I have learned from the people who have guided me toward the divinity that fills us, connects us and inspires the beauty that I contribute to this life as I grow in strength through every experience of both joy and pain.

Thank you for the love I have learned from the people who have guided me toward the divinity that fills us, connects us and inspires the beauty that I contribute to this life on our precious Earth as I grow in strength through every experience of both joy and pain. 

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Much love to you all. Happy holiday season and may you be abundantly blessed through acceptance of the blessings that are at all times at your fingertips.

~~~S Wave~~~

From one to ONE

I have been feeling more and more boundless during my times of prayer. When I close my eyes and sink deeper and deeper into it, I can begin to sense that the idea of my body as my boundary is contrived. That my true self is without limits. Like I said, I’m no ordinary squirrel. 😉

I remember when I was about nine that I had a life-changing moment driving past the lake in the passenger seat of my mom’s car. Looking out the window I suddenly realized in my gut that I was completely singular, completely alone in my experience. I remember looking at mom and, with no small sense of amazement, realized that she and I were two different people and our experience of the world would never fully converge. I would never know what her eyes saw as she looked at the same road I was looking at, or how the seat beneath her felt on her legs, or what thought was filling her mind from one moment to the next. It felt very isolating, yet somehow inspiring. There was suddenly a feeling of importance for my life, but also great alone-ness.

Whether or not it is related to that early event, for most of my life I have been operating under an unexamined belief that we are all separate. Why wouldn’t I think that? Don’t most people think that? Doesn’t it look like that? I am me and you are you. I am one and you are one. Here we are:

one, by ~~~S Wave~~~

Even as I’ve come to know more about God, even as I’ve experienced inexplicable connections with a few very special people, even as I have done some reading up on metaphysics and theories of transpersonal connection, my grander experience of life has never really changed. So why would my overall paradigm change?

But now, something new is dawning. The other night, as I was feeling boundless, I said, “Thank you for the way you move through all things.” With those words my paradigm changed. Suddenly there is a ONE. If my Self is boundless, then your Self is boundless. And his…and hers… Where do you begin and I end? Where does my spirit or consciousness or energy cease to inform yours and vice versa? Where does yellow end and green begin?

ONE, by ~~~S Wave~~~

I’m telling you, I am walking down the streets of Los Angeles the past few days passing people and thinking, “Do you know that we are actually colliding right now?? That you are made up of divinity just like the rest of us? How cool is that!?” This doesn’t mean I have to trust every person, that I have to welcome their energy into my experience, but I do think it is a part of the Love that I have asked to learn more about.

As for separateness, I think we are separate as sensory processors and as egos. My little nine year-old self was right about that. But senses and egos are not all we are.

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A final reminder—for you and for me—that this blog was started with the idea that we are like waves. Remember that you can not point to where your wave ends and another’s begins. Nor can you can point to where your wave begins and the ocean ends. It is a metaphor I like…and now I like it even more. Hope you do too.

Love, the Liberator

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates.”

– Maya Angelou

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Today I took a meditation hike. I listened to Vive’s album, Chakra Songs, and ended my walk on top of a ridge at Hollyridge trails.

Today's meditation spot

Today’s meditation spot

I thought a lot about love up there and what can sometimes keep us from being able to love in the way we want to. Maybe you’re like me and have certain familiar walls up that impede the exchange of love between you and others. And by love I mean love that moves no matter context, no matter mood, no matter consequences. The “do unto others” and “turn the other cheek” kind of love. Today I decided that I’m tired of my walls. My walls have been defending me for a long time. Letting those come down puts me in all kinds of harm’s ways. Unfortunately, those same walls also keep me locked in.

I want to be liberated.

I believe that God is pure pure pure love.  There is no other ingredient in God but love and there is no other source of love but God. I believe that God’s love is unconditional. I know that showing and receiving that kind of love isn’t something you can fake or really even learn. Perhaps allowing (as opposed to concocting) unconditional love to flow in and out of me–which is really what it (i.e., God) wants to do anyway–is THE ultimate defense and simultaneously the ultimate liberation.

I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always thought that to love others meant letting myself get hurt and that somehow I would have to grin and bear that. It always meant being a martyr. Moreover, it was something I had to work really really hard at doing. But imagine answering hate with genuine love, answering betrayal with genuine love, answering neglect with genuine love. Imagine having a response of love be your nature.

Why can’t it be so?

One thing I have learned from years of trial and error, is that just saying a genuine “YES!” to what you feel bubbling up inside you makes the heavens and the earth respond. Things begin to happen. Changes occur. I have felt something bubbling up in my spirit and it has to do with this question of love. A new understanding is brewing.

So be it. Here I Am!

A woman offering up her heart for the divine intentions inside and outside of me to do what they will for love. I say YES to the challenge of letting old defensive walls crumble, and I know that the universal response will not disappoint. I surrender my human efforts and wait for a path to appear. Let’s see what happens!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

― Anaïs Nin

What an amazing experience it has already been turning my attention to the spiritual more fully and consistently as part of Here I Am. Things are happening! Where to even begin?

How about with the mystery of coincidence? As I began this month of spiritual intention, I knew from experience that I would be encountering “coincidences” connecting that which would be growing in me (you can’t not grow when you sincerely seek truth) and what I encountered in the world around me. I knew this because it is true that we see things as we are. If we are watching with our spiritual selves we begin to detect the amazing spiritual synchronicity that surrounds us and even seeks us out. If we are watching with our physical eyes only, those synchronicities aren’t so obvious.

Sometimes these coincidences are unmistakable. Sometimes they are almost imperceptible. Today I experienced both. The first was blatant! In a recent prayer time, I was repeatedly reminded of the newness of each moment, including my own newness moment by moment. I saw the truth of newness differently. It made more sense to me. And there was a scripture from Revelations that was embedded in my heart for the next few days: “Behold, I make all things new.” Then today I attended a service at Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, a wonderful trans-denominational center that I have not visited in almost a year. The title of the monthly theme, as it turns out, is “Ever True — Ever New,” and what scripture do you think the speaker kept returning to?  That is the kind of synchronicity that will make you sit up and listen.

But today also brought a smaller and for me sweeter coincidence. I was reading a story to my 2 year-old niece before naptime. She picked out a book called, “Scaredy Squirrel.” The last time I read this book was, again, almost a year ago.

Scaredy Squirrel

As we nuzzled on the floor reading, I got to the part where the agoraphobic Scaredy Squirrel is finally forced to leave his comfort zone, jump into thin air, only to discover that he is “no ordinary squirrel” but in fact a flying squirrel! (What better analogy for enlightenment could there be?!)

The illustrations, the words, even the sound of my own voice as I read sent a rush of spiritual acknowledgement through me. It was the feeling of connection. This particular connection was to a vision that I experienced last week during prayer. In this vision I myself had taken a plunge off a cliff and found myself not falling as I expected, but swimming through the air. I was without limitations and unshackled from all fear. I had to smile as I read this page and saw Scaredy Squirrel embrace his newfound identity with great joy. I am no ordinary squirrel! (And neither are you, by the way.)

All of this to say that the big and little coincidences that cross our paths are worthy of our attention. They emerge in the most unexpected times and places, and yet if your intention is to see them then you bet you can expect them! And what are they after all? I am convinced that they are NOT coincidences but something more. They are the infinite speaking to us and guiding us on our odd and mysterious ways. They are signposts. Listen and watch and you will know what they mean.

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Well, get ready for more of these types of posts in the upcoming weeks! How can I not share them? In my life, I have found the pursuit of truth and communion with the divine to be the most exhilarating and excellent pursuit. Uncontested. And my great, great amount of gratitude for being able to take part in that pursuit silences me quite often in my times of communion.

I wish you all a blessed week. May yours be full of signposts to bless you and remind you that your journey is important.

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And don’t forget to like us on Facebook for more frequent doses of encouragement and connection. 🙂

Month 3: The G Word

Has it really been a month since I’ve added a new post?? I’ve missed it here! If you recall, my last month of Here I Am was devoted to “putting down the crutch” (i.e., trying to break an addiction, for those of you who are just tuning in.) Well, I did…for two weeks. Honestly, I just wasn’t as vigilant as I could have been. But in the true spirit of Here I Am, I am not dwelling on excuses or failures, nor am I miring myself in guilt. The infamous lockbox remains on my list. I will tackle it again another month, with greater vigilance.

The good news is that I refuse to leave without a lesson. I’m not a huge Mraz fan, but I do like his line: “I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some.” No losing, just learning. The first lesson I learned from Month 2 is that simply writing a mantra ain’t gonna cut it! I looked back and read my post from last month and realized that I had totally forgotten the beautiful and sincere mantra I had written. Next time, that mantra needs to be taped to my mirror, carried in my purse, used as my screensaver. I need to wrap myself daily in the encouraging thoughts that come from IN ME! (P.s., thank you so much to the people that encouraged my along the way last month. Don’t loose faith! I’ll be back for some more soon!)

The second lesson I learned is that I hold my crutch the tightest when I feel like there is less to rejoice for, when hopelessness begins to creep in. On those days, I am convinced by the inner voice saying, “Meh, what does it matter?” Some days I wonder how I could possibly think like that!! Others it seems to make so much sense. I realized that the times in my life when I have most easily put down my crutch are the times when I am the most connected to God. This leads me to Month 3. (Yes, the “month” is supposed to begin on the 12th. Ideally it would have. But, I am reinventing the Here I Am calendar in the freedom I have to do so and saying, “So begins Month 3 on this wonderful day, February 23rd!!”)

Now, if the big G word makes you nervous, don’t fear; I won’t be preaching to you on Life As a Wave. I know what I mean when I say, “connecting to God.” What you mean by that may look, sound, feel different than my experience. Maybe you don’t use the word “God.” The result should be the same though, right?  A sense of peace, love, hope, freedom, purpose. What I am emphasizing is an intentional, daily practice of pursuing this connection. For me that involves prayer, music, meditation, being in the moment, study and community. That is what this month is for. I cannot wait!! From my experience, there is literally nothing that can compare to connecting with that which is the highest, grandest, wisest, loveliest, mightiest, most gracious, and most boundless thing that exists. Once you invite that, and recognize that it lives within you….forget about it! You’re hooked! Now that is a kind of addiction I can get behind. You might ask why something so beautiful and empowering would need to be on my list? Wouldn’t I just want to float around in that all day every day?? What a good question. I will just quote St. John to explain the trappings of the day-to-day life on Earth that can so easily distract us from the things that are eternal:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

There you have it. I’m human. But here’s to Month 3! A devotion to the superhuman. I hope to include more frequent updates with all of you along the way. Stay tuned and as always, thank you for your being part of Life As a Wave.

With love,

~~~S Wave~~~