The Opposite of Love

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

– Saint John

We teach that hate is the opposite of love, but I’ve been thinking that it is actually fear that is the opposite.

As I was writing about the things I want to transcend, I realized that most of the things that we want to overcome can be reduced down to a fear. Let’s say, for example, that I want to overcome a concern about what others think of me. That’s reasonable. But where does that concern come from in the first place? Fear, right? Fear that if someone thinks something negative then I’ll be shunned, rejected, left. So isn’t it really from the fear that I would have to be liberated first?

Fear, though, gets forgotten as our attention and our “treatments” gets directed to what are really just the manifestations of the fear. We end up being held back from knowing the fullness of our Selves and the beauty of our dreams because the underlying fear isn’t addressed. Imagine if that fear was gone. What if the prospect of rejection, neglect, and abandonment just wasn’t scary in the first place? What if you weren’t scared of loss, of death, of pain? Sounds pretty liberating.


In my experience, the first step to getting free from fear is recognizing that it’s there. When you think you are upset by something, try being still and asking our mind and your body what they are really scared of. Accept the answer you get without judgement and with great compassion. Connect with your belief in a higher power that is interested only in your greatest good. Then you are ready to begin to let that fear go.

Some fears are easy to change simply by CHOOSING to believe in something different. For example, if I declare that I believe in all things working together for good, it is much easier for me to release the fear of failure, because even “failures” must be part of the good that is unfolding. They lose their power.

Other fears of course aren’t so easy to let go of. The process might be longer, but it is the same in principle. No matter what your belief system is, if you sit with compassion and listen to the pain that resides in you, asking it what it needs and offering YOUR love to it, I believe that it must dissipate. Because love does cast out fear.

Media credit: Leah Piken Kolidas

Media credit: Leah Piken Kolidas

Besides your own liberation and accessibility to your dreams, there is another benefit to realizing that fear is the opposite of love: you begin to have more compassion for others.

I have someone in my life who must have been sent to teach me about loving others! I sometimes find this person to be condescending or dismissive toward me which then triggers sensitivities in me and make me feel hostile toward her. It’s a terrible, but common cycle. This morning, as I was thinking about my experiences with her, these realizations about fear  entered my mind at the same time and I realized that the two are related. I realized that just as I have fears that lead me to operate in less than love, so too does everyone.

As I reconceptualize her condescension as a product of fear–hers and mine–I can feel compassion for the two of us. We become reduced to our essences…two souls traveling in this journey on Earth together and navigating our experiences with our own level of consciousness at this point in time and space. Separateness becomes comradery. We’re in this together! Why be cells that are battling against each other when we can come together and form something new??

Of course she may not have the same realization, but suddenly that doesn’t matter. I recognize and express gratitude for our connection and I embrace her in a protective, prayerful energy that genuinely desires her highest good. It feels good to be free. And to let her be free as well.


I have been receiving a lot of wonderful, simple insights during my times of prayer and meditation. I post these most frequently on our Facebook page so don’t forget to visit us there. You are all such joy to me. May you be free from fear today!

What is Written On Your Banner?

This is going to sound odd, but it will make perfect sense by the time you get to the end of this post:  Sometimes my friend and I place a banner over one another.

This began years ago during our prayer time together. I don’t know exactly how it started except that –knowing us–one of us probably had an intuition to do it and so we went with it. For us, it means that we are claiming something for the other. For example, I might say, “I am placing the banner of ‘I AM COMPLETE’ over you,” when my friend feels a strong sense of lack. She might place a banner of “STRENGTH” over me when I feel scared. You get the idea. It’s not a literal banner (that would be pretty cool though) but it is a spiritual proclamation of allowing, inviting, and claiming that thing to be so.

In Song of Solomon, the lovesick maiden coos, “He led me to the banquet hall and his banner over me is love.” Moses built an alter and named it, “The Lord is my Banner.” We wave our literal banners to demonstrate our allegiances and our pride. In a spiritual sense, the banners we place over ourselves, our days, our friends, or our homes do the same. We can either be intentional in placing our banners, or we can be unintentional. If we are filling our homes with stress and worry, then our banner unintentionally reads, well, STRESS and WORRY. Or maybe FEAR, because isn’t that the root of stress and worry anyway?

Today, I had a moment in which I asked myself: What does my banner read today? If I had to be honest, it would have read IMPATIENCE in that moment. After all, there I was stuck in L.A. traffic running 30 minutes late already. Luckily I remembered the power of my intention. I took down that banner and unfurled the one that reads: TRANSCENDENCE. Today—heck, maybe for the rest of the month!—my banner will read TRANSCENDENCE. I claim transcendence at all levels. Transcendence above my immediate circumstances and the emotions they trigger. Transcendence above my ego. Transcendence above my physical urges. Transcendence above my mortality. Transcendence closer and closer to God.

So I want to know!…What is on your banner today??

What are you connecting with and claiming? Can you think of someone who doesn’t have the strength to lift their own banner right now? Can you lift one for them? Let’s connect not just in love, and not just through energy, but also in power and for strength.

Have a beautiful, transcendent day!!